Democrats and Republicans Saying 'I Don't' to Each Other

Over 30% of Dems, 40% of Reps are repelled by the idea of marriage outside party lines

Whoever coined the simple phrase "like attracts like" was certainly correct about the "attract" part. New research shows that marriages between Republicans and Democrats are increasingly poo-pooed by would-be brides and grooms at either end of the political spectrum.

Chris Mooney at Psychology Today writes that while growing link between lifestyle and political orientation makes it more and more likely that folks will pair up with someone identical in their partisan leanings, Republicans in particular are especially turned off by the idea of inter-party marriage. The blame, says Mooney, is the conservative sense of loyalty and a strong in-group vs. out-group frame of mind.

"Conservatives, more than liberals," Mooney writes, "perceive a strong distinction between the in-group and the out-group, those who are part of the team and those who are not."

So what does all this mean for the future of what's called "assortative mating"? Well, "you don't want your precious children marrying members of the out-group," warns Mooney sarcastically. "Liberal couples raise more little liberals, conservative couples raise more little conservatives, and the cycle continues."

Via Psychology Today.

Do you think it's important to find a partner with political views that match your own?

[AceLuby]

Political affiliation means little to me as long as the person is rational and uses facts to back up their argument. I have conservative views and liberal views and expect that most other people do as well, what really matters are the rationales for each of those views.

[CanisCanemEdit]

Agreed. Well said, friend.

[ibcingu]

I agree. What really aggravates me is when a person of one party thinks you're completely wrong because you don't believe what they believe, and they're not willing to listen to ANY argument.

[Fishbone345]

Similar is a goo idea. It sure lessens friction.

[DARSB]

I was "Clean for Gene" while my wife was a Nixon voter. 34 years later we still get long.

[Stratton]

Frankly, that says more about your character than anything you've posted on this site.

[DARSB]

@Stratton Because no one ever changes after 35 years?

[Stratton]

@DARSB - On the contrary, because they do. I respect anyone who is able to maintain a good marriage over so many years.

[DARSB]

@Stratton Thanks. Our wedding anniversary was Sunday. Over a romantic, lavish dinner, my bride leaned close to me across the table, held my hands, looked deep into my eyes, and whispered, "I love you so much. I only hate you a couple of times a year."

I'm STILL trying to figure out what the hell that meant.

[Stratton]

@DARSB LOL!

[mimi57]

My husband came from a long line of Republicans, and I came from an Italian
family, lived in a strong labor union town almost everyone I knew were Dems,
including my dad.My husband and I argued politics for years, so much so, my
son got A's in political Science, not from studying ,but from hearing our arguments. We cancelled each other out every election...and then *finally* I
came to my senses and saw the light. I've been voting republican since
Clinton. My best friend is a Dem, and I love her, but we don't discuss politics.
mainly because she doesn't know what she's talking about! LOL

[marine1]

To be conservitive is to be self enabling and you will rarely find that in a liberal mind set. Their primary motivator in life is to figure out how to make someone else pay for their existance.

[Polusalo]

Be careful when discussing politics. My father always told me there's two things you shouldn't discuss or disclosed. Politics and Religion. People will get fighting mad over both. I never realized how true it was until I got a little older.

[mimi57]

@Polusalo I'm always ready. LOL

[CATTLEPROD]

You betcha!! The last thing I need is to get married to a woman who likes to KILL her and MY unborn baby.

[Denizen_Kate]

Cattleprod, that's one of the more ridiculous comments you've posted, which is saying a lot. NO ONE "likes" to have an abortion.

[CATTLEPROD]

@Denizen_Kate Certain women do. Its just another form of birth control to them. What makes you think I have never been in the position of having no say in what happens to MY baby?

[dances-weebles]

@CATTLEPROD as long as it's inside her body it's not your baby. whether or not she has an abortion is none of your business, either. both republicans and democrats have abortions if they need to terminate a pregnancy for any reason. the same goes for conservatives and liberals.

[CATTLEPROD]

@dances-weebles You still havnt explained how it isnt just the most convenient form of birth control for certain women even though there are more ways of keeping an egg from being fertilized than there are positions in the kama sutra.

[Jeff_Woehrle]

Seeing how abortion (mostly) kills future democrats, I don't have much problem with it.

[DerivePI]

When it comes down to it, as long as we agree on local politics the other politics don't matter. We agree that the family needs a balanced budget, we need to be conservative with our utilities, no one receives welfare without work and no military action is required when our neighbors accidently scratch our cars. She's disagreed with some of the social issues, but for the most part we are both right.

[ACTSmom]

Sometimes the party changes, sometimes our own politics change. Stay Independent and don't fret over it...just change your partner's mind to agree with you! And don't quit voting just because you cancel each other out...tell him you're going to the grocery store, but just "happen" to stop by your voting place, too!

[Denizen_Kate]

That sounds like you are advocating lying to your partner.

[ACTSmom]

@Denizen_Kate ...No...I would go to the grocery store.

[Lpguy]

It doesnt matter to me. Im very libertarian and the love of my life is a bleeding heart liberal lol and we function just fine.

[Denizen_Kate]

While I enjoy a good discussion now and then with people whose views differ greatly from mine, it isn't pleasant on a daily basis.

[Just_Lisa]

I think in years past it wasn't such a big deal. With this election, it has proven to be a HUGE deal. Being married to someone who didn't share a lot of your own personal views politicaly now-a-days I can see it putting a wedge in a relationship. This election almost feels like its a matter of life or death. Although its not as bad as that...is it? Whew. Scary.

[Blknred]

My wife is a libertarian and im an anarchist.we get along just fine.

[ir0nw0lfe]

Political views are part of who you are to each other. It's not all of who you are. Life's not built on who wins or loses but on the values you have in common.

[Sonny]

".....Republicans in particular are especially turned off by the idea of inter-party marriage....." See I told you that this party is full of "very mentally & emotionally sick people".......

[mimi57]

That is soooo unfair!!! I put up with Dems all the time. I am very tolerant...Do
you want to challenge me to a mental eval duel?...LOL I didn't think so!

[Sonny]

@mimi57 A "mental duel"?...LOL!...Why no Mimi....LOL....Look, I'm sure that those rare exceptions, like you, do exist....And I'm grateful to have met that rare exception....But you saw the article...and it pretty much speaks for its self on the matter of "interparty marriage" (I never knew that such a thing even existed...LOL...I guess only in republican land---Present Company, Excluded, of Course!!

[mimi57]

Of course...

[dances-weebles]

sorry, folks... this doesn't qualify as being either political, or news.

[methinks]

Tell that to James Carville and Mary Matalin. I love their TV commercials together. There's an example of far right meets far left and they seem to balance each other.

[mimi57]

That is the homeliest man I have ever seen! I can't understand a thing he says!
They must have a REALLY big house...personally, I don't like either of them..

[methinks]

@mimi57 Yeah, he's creepy, but they've been married for nearly 20 years. I guess it works for them. I still love their TV commercials together. They are certainly a political "Odd Couple!"

[Stratton]

I mostly tend to date people that lean the opposite way politically from myself. We both learn from each other that way. Only people who are very insecure in their own opinions feel the need to surround themselves with an echo chamber.

[Cheenoguy]

If I were going to be in the market for a wife (keeping the present one) I could never marry anyone who didn't care about the poor. If a woman could look at a child and honestly be more concerned with her tax rate then that child (no matter the behavior of the parent) I couldn't be with that person. If a woman could look me in the eyes and say that the free market is more important then access to healthcare for all I couldn't date her. If she espoused the Republican ideal that green is good I'd give her a snort of derision and walk away. I doubt I could be happy with someone who didn't share my liberal ideas.

[TheLoneRanger]

I converted my wife from the dark side to be a Conservative Republican.

Four years ago she voted for Obama because he was handsome.(Ugh.)

[Keyjo]

"I converted my wife from the dark side to be a Conservative Republican."
That seems contradictory. It's like saying you moved from her Biloxi to Mississippi! WTF?

[Synthesis]

My mom's a Democrat and my Dad's a republican! You just don't talk about it and when you do it's important to understand the other persons position and find common ground. But, I do believe a debate is good every once in a while.

[Keyjo]

Personally, I'd rather be with an intellectual, independent thinking man. One capable of rational discussion. Which of course makes sense since I am an Independent Progressive.