FAMILY TIES

'Sandwich Generation' Forced to Care For Both Kids and Parents

More middle-aged adults supporting both young and old

Jan 31, 2013 by Dain Fitzgerald

Staff Writer t

With poor economic conditions putting the squeeze on those who ought to be launching their careers, and the long-held obligation to care for one's aging parents, middle-aged adults are finding themselves between a rock and a hard budget constraint.

National Public Radio reports on the phenomenon of the "Sandwich Generation," or the one-in-seven adults who are caring for both their kids and parents simultaneously. It's a trend that's only increased in the last half decade, notes Pew Research Center.

But while the pressure has been coming from both directions for those "sandwiched," public opinion says the greater responsibility lies with aiding the elderly, not those in the prime of their life.

"The public places more value on support for aging parents than on support for grown children," writes Pew. "75% say adults have a responsibility to provide financial assistance to an elderly parent who is in need; only 52% say parents have a similar responsibility to support a grown child."

Via NPR and Pew Research Center.

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Comments (view in Forum)

Jan '13

Malitia_Man

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Who's gonna solve it should be the next question!!!! If you're implying that the government has a responsibility to solve it, then your wrong!!! We the people should solve it by demanding the government to stop with the out of control spending that is destroying the dollar!!! What is today, is no where near what it was 20 years ago!! Thanks to inflation of the dollar!!!
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Jan '13

norezen

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The dollar should be deflating. When the middle class lost 40% of their wealth that drove prices down. Then wages have stagnated (especially for younger adults) which causes people to demand cheaper goods. Then flood the housing market with houses that were foreclosed. All these things caused a lot of deflation of the currency; that is when and why the fed did quantitative easing. The purpose of fed policy is to increase inflation.
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Feb '13
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Jan '13

MrsM

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Yes, my husband an I both took care of our parents and it was an honor and a privilege and we learned a lot, everyone should instead of putting them in a nursing home or concentration camp as my husband calls them.
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Jan '13

stepped_in_it

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Proud of you both. Husbands right! I deal with them (the "concentration campers") indirectly. Being a little talkative, they love seeing me! But, it does leave me sad to see them there (and swear I'll never be a "camper").
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Jan '13

Denizen_Kate

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It used to be the norm to have multiple generations under one roof. The benefits for children is that they are close to their grandparents and gain an understanding of what it will be like when they, in turn, become old. The benefit to the elderly is that they feel valued and cared for. As for the "sandwich" generation, well, sometimes having a grandparent around can lessen the burden of working full time AND caring for small children, depending on the overall health and mental acuity of the grandparent.
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Jan '13

frigginhell

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@Denizen_Kate Yes, I'm suprised nobody picked up on the fact that this phenomenon was the norm for thousands of years. Sticking them in a nursing home to die alone is relatively new by comparison. Taking care of your parents as they took care of you and respecting your elders has been the societal norm for centuries. The people who wrote this need slapped.
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Jan '13

Denizen_Kate

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@frigginhell - The erosion of this particular "family value" began during the 1950s, when the American ideal of family became one man, one woman, and two or three children of either gender. Grandparents were expected to bow to the east and fade into the woodwork. Seriously, in these troubled economic times, doesn't it make sense for families to congregate under fewer roofs and pool their resources?
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Jan '13

kathyparsell

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@Denizen_Kate
I would need a really good prescription first
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Jan '13

Medicinebow

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Did that with my father-in-law and had a kid.It was a lot of work but I wouldn't have it any other way. Family first. If my mom runs her vehicle in to her house one more time we'll have to see about what to do with her.
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Jan '13

NTBFW

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Me
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Jan '13

Rocker

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Me too. Took care of parents and in-laws before they passed plus kiddos and college.
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Jan '13

NTBFW

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@Rocker my mother. She earned it. I don't mind.
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Jan '13

Rocker

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@NTBFW - I'm not bitching about it. Just sayin' we're whatever it is that the post is about. They talkin''bout us, man!!!
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Jan '13

Keyjo

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Yup, a few. Just as common, if not more; parents caring for their 20 something kids and THEIR kids (the grandkids).
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Jan '13

SomethinsFishy

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Yeah, I know someone- ME! Did it from June 1999 till my Mother's death in September 2003. Quit yer beaching! Just do it. They did EVERYTHING for you for 18 years, now it's your turn. Don't stick 'em in a home. They didn't farm you out with an undocumented Nanny- well, unless they were rich Democrats, that is. It's part of LIFE. The whole world does it. That's WHY our country is so dysfunctional. We throw people away or push them away, especially our own elderly family members. One of the few things Hillary Clinton has said that I agree with is that "It takes a village to raise a child". Your elders ARE your village. Now, suck it up and JUST DO IT!
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Jan '13

tomincali

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yes, we did not have this problem until so much globalization being pushed at every angle,there was a time when the jobs were here and you could negotiate pay now when an employer is too cheap all he has to do is file for visa workers where not real proof is ever needed to prove a need.

folks can argue all they want it is simple to just look back at things before this could happen so easy.
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Jan '13

mwr

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yes, we are putting children through college and supporting parents. not on welfare (yet) so dont expect any help from entitlement king obama
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Jan '13

VVP

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/gasp..

Imagine that.... Who would have ever predicted this? Oh yeah thats right, I did. Only I called them by the appropriate generational names. Gen X is stuck taking care of the hippies who wont die, and the ineffectual hipsters the hippies helped spawn.

Imagine that.
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Jan '13

thatgirl

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Nice way to sneer at entire generations.
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Jan '13

VVP

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@thatgirl Yes, your right.

What exactly is the appropriate response to a pair of generations that share the same fundamental flaw of having no concept of taking responsibility for their actions?

The response exists, because it has been earned. Honestly, blessings should be counted that it is merely a sneer compared to what is deserved.
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Jan '13
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Jan '13

VVP

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@thatgirl
No. Thank YOU for illustrating the type of "its not my fault" ideology that this research points to. While you may or may not be a hippy or hipster you have in fact exhibited the type of behavior that is hallmark of both.

I know exactly what I speak of. Ive done more research on this subject than most even know exists. This helps support my findings and I almost have enough to formulate a proper thesis on the situation so as I can compile it all and have it published. Perhaps within another years worth of work and revision?

But your reaction as well as your history paints a fairly firm suggestion of which generation you would belong to. The same generation that is completely incapable of coping with the truth unless it is watered down and softened around the edges. The generation that was raised with the lies that they are special, unique and can be anything they want to be, despite lacking ambition, connections, or even talent. The generation raised on getting trophies for participation because it would be such a tragedy to hurt a childs feeling, and cripple their self esteem.

You know, the same sort of ideology that would compel an individual to take personal offense at what I said, and drive them to respond about how wrong they think I am or in fact how wrong these findings are, with nothing to actually refute it. Yes, let us not get on the topic of who knows nothing about what they speak.
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Jan '13

thatgirl

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@VVP
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Jan '13

Dan_Tien

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Wasn't that the story line of "The Waltons"?
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Jan '13

Sabio

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maybe some more welfare, oblameycare, free housing and food stamps would help?
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Jan '13

harold_lloyd

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We just did it, it's what family does.

I don't see it as a problem crying out for a solution, just a description of what we do.
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Jan '13

Vance1

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Yep because of this Obama economy kids cant get jobs and old people cant afford to live on their own... Good Going Obama people!!!
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Jan '13

ErnestPayne

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The problem is the stupid, whining, self absorbed middle agers who simply won't take responsibility. Witness my sister in law (her mother's favourite) who wants nothing to do with taking care of her mother. My sister in law should have looked at her daughter's page where it showed a young girl smiling up at her mother with the quote "Someday I want to grow up and become a crazy bitch like you mommy".
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Jan '13

SignifiedNBlue

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As if anyone can solve it. Its called theprocess of life. Its a lifes process.. I assumed everyone took care of their elderly parent when the time comes..
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Jan '13

stephen

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nope.
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Jan '13

ConserveUSA

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I take care of my parent, the only living and I am not married nor have children.
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Jan '13

texas_cutie75

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My father was a single parent, had 2 children and took in his parents. I loved having my grandparents in the house, I put off college and cared for my grandparents for 6 years. It made an impact in my life I can't put into words. The area I grew up in had many many multi generational families. It was the norm in our c
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Jan '13

texas_cutie75

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Community. Geez, fat fingers and tablets don't mix!
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Jan '13

Happy2BeHere

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I think its just something people with strong family values do for their parents. I don't see it as a problem that needs to be solved at all.
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Jan '13

botsmom

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Yes! Me! I can't deduct a damn cent for those years. You're welcome, medicaid that I quit my job to care for family and kids. No state daycare costs. No nursing home care. ME.
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