So Ann Coulter won't likely be watching Thursday's World Cup game between the United States and Germany.
The conservative provocateur argues in her syndicated column that soccer, which claims more than a billion fans globally, is a sign of America's moral decay.
I've held off on writing about soccer for a decade - or about the length of the average soccer game - so as not to offend anyone. But enough is enough. Any growing interest in soccer can only be a sign of the nation's moral decay.
Her basic argument is that soccer is too much of a team sport.
Individual achievement is not a big factor in soccer. In a real sport, players fumble passes, throw bricks and drop fly balls - all in front of a crowd. When baseball players strike out, they're standing alone at the plate. But there's also individual glory in home runs, touchdowns and slam-dunks.
In soccer, the blame is dispersed and almost no one scores anyway. There are no heroes, no losers, no accountability, and no child's fragile self-esteem is bruised.
Coulter's anti-soccer rant is laced with racial and ethnic undertones.
If more 'Americans' are watching soccer today, it's only because of the demographic switch effected by Teddy Kennedy's 1965 immigration law. I promise you: No American whose great-grandfather was born here is watching soccer. One can only hope that, in addition to learning English, these new Americans will drop their soccer fetish with time.
There are other political themes to Coulter's tirade against soccer. She spends three paragraphs drawing parallels between soccer (European and bad) and the metric system (also European and bad).
Coulter's column is drawing considerable derision and scorn.
Let's all enjoy how utterly irrelevant Ann Coulter has become :) http://t.co/o4u9zT63Og An opinion piece about "Soccer". Powerful nonsense.- ☞ DcTurner (@dcturner) June 26, 2014
Ann Coulter trying to make a point is like a small child reaching for cookies on the top shelf. Astonishgly inept. http://t.co/Fgr8DAysV3- Brandon McCarthy (@BMcCarthy32) June 26, 2014