Best
205 Comments
Post
  • #4
    !
    Remember, in the liberalverse, NOBODY is responsible for their own decisions.

    Consequences for decisions are now banned, instead you simply blame someone else and act outraged.

    A wonderful new world we live in.....
  • Comment removed for Engagement Etiquette violation. Replies may also be deleted.
  • Comment removed for Engagement Etiquette violation. Replies may also be deleted.
  • #158
    !
    Umm usually when violence happens towards a woman it's a guy who is behind it...
    Even if it was another woman, it's still someone else's decision, not the victims.
    If your daughter got raped would you blame her as well?!
  • #160
    !
    @Cool_voter Again the same asinine question. Are you trying to impress me with how ignorant you can be?

    Since you insist upon asking such asinine hypothetical unrelated questions, if your daughter got raped, how far down the list of suspects would you be?

    I said nothing about rape, intentional or otherwise.

    Your question is simply intended to get me into that emotionally charged discussion and away from this issue for which you clearly have no precanned position to spew and claim as your own. Plan on blaming Bush next?

    Just move along, continuing to pursue this line of questioning is only going to end with you looking like an Idiot and I've sworn off verbally dismantling people like you for the next few days.
  • R Load more replies

  • #37
    !
    I've worked extensively with Domestic Violence Victims, I ran our VAP (Victim Advocacy Program) in Family Court when we lost our paid volunteer coordinator, DV victims are a different breed than your ordinary victim of a crime, the cycle of violence is so insidious, it starts with the build up of anger to verbal abuse to hitting and then we get the other side of the wheel and remorse sets in, the man feels bad, pleads for forgiveness, he just loves her so much he can't control himself and she forgives him, he's so pitiful in his grief that he hurt her, things go well, the honeymoon phase and then the anger builds starting the cycle all over again. Most women go through this cycle many times before the seek help and many times, by that breaking point, she has also been isolated from friends and family, has no money of her own, no set of car keys and very little self-esteem left. Many don't leave until the police are called in by neighbors and then many go back when he cries and tells her it was love that made him do it. Many don't leave until the kids start getting abused. It's a difficult cycle to break, I've seen the same women come into Fam. Ct. like through a revolving door, it's hard for them especially if they have no means of support themselves. Also, many victims of DV grew up in a house of DV as well as the men (usually always men) who commit DV. Growing up in a home where the man hits the woman is a direct indicator of who will also grow up to hit his spouse/girlfriend and that a girl who lived with it as a child will be more likely to accept it as a way of life. So, sure, they should make better decisions, with help many of them do, but it may take more than a few beatings and broken bones to tip the scale and get them out of it. I can remember on client's spouse who was totally bewildered about the charge of DV and in court actually whined that all he did was throw a knife at her, he didn't kill her.
  • #75
    !
    Why is it that the initial verbal and emotional abuse from the "victim" is never recognized as a catalyst or provocation of the "perp" eventually lashing out? If there is a decision to be made, it's probably best we avoid using passive aggression as a means of interaction with a spouse, for purposes of manipulation.

    It's time women were educated in how NOT to promote this type of behavior instead of constantly being the victim. If verbal and emotional abuse is used, both partners are party to everything that happens up until an actual physical assault takes place. Dana Perino is absolutely right! Women need to start making better decisions about their relationships and how they conduct themselves within them. If women have any power at all, they need to recognize that they have responsibilities that goes with that power.
  • #77
    !
    @Leatheryman OMG! So, it's the woman's fault that the man beats her? Really? Most men have enough self control to not hit anyone in a fit of anger, yet you somehow blame the victim for forcing the man to lose control and beat her up? I sincerely hope you are not married and I sincerely hope that you get some education on this problem. Do you hid everyone who provokes you? Wow, such an attitude belongs in a different era, not the 21st. century, you couldn't be more wrong or less informed on this issue. Blame the woman for "mouthing off" went out with cave dwellers.
  • Comment removed for Engagement Etiquette violation. Replies may also be deleted.
  • Comment removed for Engagement Etiquette violation. Replies may also be deleted.
  • R Load more replies

  • #11
    !
    Since we are not talking about "dogs" here, but human beings instead...Not everyone knows in advance if they will be subjected to some kind of violence in his/her relationship...Sometimes domestic violence couples do not have a "history" of abuse or violence before some tragedy happens....people are people and not dogs and we don't always see this kind of tragedy coming.
  • #21
    !
    @FollowTheMoney Actually I was responding to your point. And simply put we don't always know how things are going to turn out between couples. If there are signs of violence (i.e. "if one knows that a dog bites"...) then we can indeed do something about that "relationship". And then "stop trying to pet it". If on the other hand the first violent event happens to be the one and only event, that also ends your life...Then--your advice is not very helpful....I think its just more of our culture of wanting to somehow blame the victim...Instead of laying the blame where it ought to be laid...at the feet of the violent person who committed the crimes...Thats my point....Nobody can predict something like domestic violence, if there were no previous "bites" to learn from before the one and only violent act happens.
  • #39
    !
    Of course, on paper it looks easy, it's not. So many factors go into why a woman stays, environment, poverty, self-esteem and fear are just a few of them. Too many DV victims hear and believe the statement, if you leave me, I'll hunt you down and kill you, or if you leave me you will never see you daughter/son again. It's easy to say "Do this", not so easy if one is the victim. Only a very strong woman will walk away the first time and a woman who saw her father hit her mother is very likely to put up with it.
  • #61
    !
    @Sonny Well yeah, deal with offender at the first offence. But often the victim stays in the situation time and again, trying to " make it work". Which of course it never does ( work that is).
  • R Load more replies

  • #18
    !
    My mom put up with domestic violence. However, she had to come to terms with the fact my father was a dirtbag, and she left. Victims have got to stop making excuses for the abusers behavior. Although many things in this country have gone downhill since I was a kid, one of the things that got better was the attitude to domestic violence. I couldn't imagine a cop coming to somebody's house, seeing a beat up woman and saying......"Jesus Christ lady! What did you do to get your husband so PO'd?" That happened more than a few times. Then my mother had to live with the stigma of "not being able to hold a family together and keep a husband". My father wanted to get back with my mother and used the pastor of the church to deliver the message. When my mom said absolutely not, the pastor told my mom that from that point forward all my father's sins were my mother's fault. In my later teenage years, my father once again tried to get back with my mother. I sufficiently impressed upon him that if he ever attempted to contact my mother again, his body would never be found. I'm glad popular views have changed but the most important thing a woman or a guy for that matter can do is say the following......

    "I have had enough" and then leave.
  • #16
    !
    I think her comment has probably been purposely taken out of context!I don,t believe she is blameing the victim ,but just saying that if you are in an abusive relationship,get out.there are a gazillion different government and private avenues for doing this.more than likely she was refering to people who stay in an abusive relationship knowing its not going to get better.
  • #87
    !
    Responsibility is a liberal worst nightmare,accountability causes them to have cold sweats and moral consistency would cause them to have convulsions.
  • #13
    !
    I was JUST kicking, and biting and scratching, and yelling, and throwing, and then HE messed my hair up. Damn right I'm filing domestic violence charges. Why aint he in jail yet?
  • #15
    !
    I don't understand why you are joking about an issue like domestic violence? Its your right to do so, I suppose...But is really does make no sense.
  • #25
    !
    @Sonny I'm not joking. You dont think thats never happned? The reason this thread is here is because someone dared make the suggestion that not all d.v. cases are legit. And that was a satirical illistration of what I have seen happen in real time to friends of mine who by all rights should have called on her, but didnt.
  • #28
    !
    @CATTLEPROD Well then please do me a favor...Please take a look at the posts here by "Follow-The-Money".. .Because what he says about domestic violence seems to be directly opposite of what you are saying...I mean---how is it that we (not a part of the relationship) should be "weighing in" on what is "legit case of domestic abuse" or not?(Does this sound strangely familiar to the notion of "legitimate rape" put forth earlier this year to you, it does to me.) That's why people outside of that relationship really should not try to hazzard a guess as to whether or not the claim was "legit"....We---my friend, ain't the one getting abused..
  • #31
    !
    @Sonny I'm not sure what you are talking about. I thought dana perrino was just saying that when women who have not been abused make that claim, it cheapens that claim by another woman who really is getting beaten, and makes her prove herself twice as hard. I have seen it happen more than once by more than one couple, old groups of friends, women who do just what I described and then while not calling the cops when he finally snapped, provoked him into that situation. And I have a feeling that more than 1 d.v. is in reality the final act of that scene.
  • #35
    !
    @CATTLEPROD If someone (who is innocent) is accused of domestic violence...Then that person can also can simply refuse to be a part of that "relationship" any longer. So if someone wants to make a false claim like that---then the person who is being wrongly accused can simply walk out of the door. And should walk out of the door. But dana is NOT there behind each and every closed door...And this is just like that old politician (the the republican who lost his Senate race) who coined the phrase "legitimate rape". We see to have an endless line of people on the right, who think that all women who cry rape and all women who cry domestic violence are simply liars.....
  • R Load more replies

  • #6
    !
    No one said "sexual assault." I believe she was indicating women who continue to stay in relationships with their abuser should make better decisions with regards to staying in that relationship.
  • #22
    !
    @DanielMincin it's a purposeful attempt to decry Fox News. Unfortunately the issue gets swept under the rug in favor of rhetoric of politics.
  • #100
    !
    "I believe she was indicating women who continue to stay in relationships with their abuser should make better decisions with regards to staying in that relationship." You're probably right, that's probably what she meant, that and probably that women who get involved with abusive men in the first place are making bad decisions.

    All of that is called blaming the victim. Nothing is ever that simple, and only someone who has never been on the receiving end of a hard slug in the face from a man would say such a thing. She was a bonehead to say that on the air and deserves to be punished for sheer stupidity.
  • R Load more replies

  • #106
    !
    I see nothing wrong with that statement. Most domestic violence women pick the kind of men who mistreat them over and over. It would be a better decision if they didn't do so. In a perfect no man who hit a woman and any man who does is vermin but it will always happen and women who are habitually involved in abusive relationship should stop victimizing themselves,.
  • #59
    !
    When abuse victims recant because 'he said he was sorry,' no one should be surprised when the same thing happens again and again. Perino is spot on.
  • #38
    !
    There's the Liberal hypocrisy once more. If it is a Liberal woman, she can say or do no wrong and how dare anyone say something against her. If a conservative says something against a woman they are labeled haters of women wanting to keep them barefoot & pregnant. When a conservative woman says something the left does not like, she is crucified. Amazing the double standards... how can any intelligent person support the likes of Liberals? They are such phonies.

    What is so amazing is the mentality of Liberals when it comes to personal responsibility. They REFUSE to ever hold people on welfare, minorities, any of their support groups, responsible for their actions. People can sleep around creating more and more babies on welfare, walking out on their families, walking out on their kids, taking illegal drugs, spending food stamp money on alcohol, gambling, you name it and what do you ever hear from the left? NOTHING, DEAD SILENCE! They refuse to hold people accountable for their actions. I'm not talking about domestic abuse when I say this. I don't hold her responsible other than the fact she married an idiot or chose to live with an idiot. I'm talking about the Democrat party that says nothing when African Americans have approx. 80% of their families broken, and we hear the same old crap... it is the white man's bigotry to blame for their status in life. Victimology, the war cry from the left.... It is not your fault! Just spend more money on the poor, just take more and more from the tax payers and never start the dialogue on how we can change our culture back to a time when the word "morals" was not a dirty word like it is in Liberal circles. We Are all responsible to some extent for our choices in life, and the resulting consequences from those choices. Quit expecting tax payers to bail you out every time you screw up. We are going bankrupt, we can't afford your bad choices any more.
  • #66
    !
    Bullshit. You're taking the conservative route of lumping everyone into one category for your convenience. Each person is different, therefore each persons circumstances are different. Yes, people should be held accountable. Just make sure it's the right person you're holding. No man or woman should ever have to be in the position of making a decision because they're being abused.; so why hold them accountable? What class was it in school that taught you what to do when your spouse is trying exceptionally hard to cave your face in or holding lit cigarettes to you? Common sense says escape, but only to a certain kind of person. Another kind of persons common sense says to perform immediate and a long lasting castration, which would be my preferred method of escape. If the abuse never happened then no one has to make a decision. As for liberals holding people responsible for being on welfare, that depends. If someone is collecting because they're flat to lazy to get off their butt,,,,, oh yes many of us do wish to hold them accountable. The problem is once more it appears the conservatives want to lump everyone into the same category as the do nothings so if we punish the do nothings, the legit people suffer also. No one can predict with any certainty that they will have a job tomorrow. No one can predict with any certainty they will be able to find another job in a timely manner. No one can predict whether or not the only job they can find will pay a decent wage or be nothing more than nine hours a week at McDonalds. If it can't be predicted, how can someone be held accountable for it? Whether you wish to admit it or not, there are circumstances beyond the common persons control, like for instance our economy going to shit due to bad decisions made in Washington. Question. Why do conservatives appear to have tunnel vision? Why can they can only see in one direction and seem incapable of looking either left or right to see the whole picture?
  • #68
    !
    @Tolpuddle Btw, at what time was morals ever a big deal? Was it when blacks had to sit at the back of the bus? Was it when a wife and children were personal property and not human beings? Was it when women had no opinion? Was it when blacks were personal property and treated worse than the family dog? Was it when American Indians were savages with no rights? Was it when an employer had the right to lock you into your workplace? Was it when employers had the right to pay so little your children had to work all day for pennies to help feed the family?At what time was it when morals in this country prevailed?
  • #95
    !
    Here's your "conservative" hypocrisy - when Fox insults the invariably polite Rachel Maddow, you double down in order to support Fox, "These MSNBC hatemongers deserve every name anyone could call them." Your lack of integrity is astonishing, and probably completely invisible to you.
  • #124
    !
    @Tolpuddle It was when our nation actually said the words MORALS! The word you Liberals hate! It was the Christian church and their moral beliefs that helped end Slavery but don't let that influence your rant.
  • #126
    !
    @DARSB If you want to compare Rachel Madcow to any other woman on TV, spare me. The reason why she deserves every name in the book is because she has labeled Fox news every name in the book. Fox has every right to fight back at those vial people. Dana is a very nice lady with very informed intelligent responses to issues. She is not a hate monger like Madcow. She was using common sense when she mentioned how women should get out of abusive situations. The same arguments Liberals have made in the past. I never said that some women do not deserve attacks. I said that Liberals never support Conservative women as a group. They will attack any conservative lady for the same things they say nothing about when a Liberal woman does it. HYPOCRITES!
  • R Load more replies

  • #33
    !
    I have a second cousin who has been abused buy her husband repeatedly, even before they were married. He abuses her still, black eyes, she had one the day they got married. She's been warned by family members repeatedly to leave him...she just
    had another baby to him..She Needs to Make A Better Decision, and that is to leave !
  • #32
    !
    from what i understand a lot of folks do not know how to get out of that jam.

    we can all help these folks by donating to domestic violence agencies. these places help those who need a safe place.
  • #1
    !
    While her statement is absolutely right, it needs to be accompanied with a strong statement against the ones who commit violent acts.
  • #3
    !
    That is a good point. There are too many excuses and there needs to be more talk on personal responsibility.
  • #12
    !
    @srs606791163 My statement was in reference to the personal responsibility of Belcher, not his girlfriend. Did Belcher's girlfriend make a bad decision? Yes. Jovan Belcher was a villain and had a record of domestic violence towards women.
  • #56
    !
    @srs606791163 Too many women and girls allow emotion to get in the way of good judgement. When the first signs that something is wrong appear they are to "committed" and fail to recognize the potential for danger. They should know as much as they can about the person they are committing to.
    Let's also recognize that men are victims of domestic violence. There are actually men who are physically and mentally abused.Then there are many guys who cannot disconnect their emotions from their judgement when things are going wrong. They allow the "screaming mad woman" to set them off instead of walking away.
    But, with all that said, there is no excuse for a man to physically harm a woman unless it is in self defense. And, the same rules and laws apply when the man is the victim. So, your use of the word "criminal" to describe crime against a woman only is not entirely right.
  • R Load more replies

  • #154
    !
    It's also called Domestic Violence when the victim has removed themselves and a restraining order has been violated. Therefore I cannot endorse the idea that the victim is always at fault. I feel any victim of abuse is exactly that, a victim, because no one deserves to be treated in that fashion.

    Victims of chronic abuse do have forewarning that as long as they remain in an abusive relationship, the abuse will reoccur. I feel for their own safety, they should remove themselves from the source of the problem, but I still hold the abuser responsible for the damage they inflict.

    Tradition and religion can sometimes play a role in a person not seeking Divorce irregardless of the situation and then there is the submissive mentality often found in chronic abuse victims. Sure, they should make better decisions but in some cases, I don't think the abusee is capable of reaching rational conclusions.

    Love should not always be unconditional!
  • #74
    !
    I just knew my sweetheart Dana wouldn't be able to keep her foot out of her mouth forever. You watch. She will now issue a "clarification statement" that walks back from what she did say to what she meant to say. Just like when she stated that no terrorist act had been committed while Dubya was in office. The woman needs to take some breaths before she opens her mouth. In th emeantime all the macho men of FOX and the Right will valiantly protect her honor. What a hoot. I love it. Things do seem to be getting back to normal.
  • #108
    !
    "The woman needs to take some breaths before she opens her mouth." Yes, perhaps she would then get a little oxygen to the brain cells and get the brain in gear PRIOR to moving the mouth, eh? What a bonehead. Makes good on all those stupid blonde jokes.
  • #58
    !
    I can't tell you the number of women I know who go ahead a marry men who have been threatening or abusive before marriage. They have all believed they could "change him". Two of my sisterrs have married abusive men twice!
    These "victims" knew what he was when they picked him up, as the story goes. They get no sympathy from me.
  • #53
    !
    For those who have never been in a domestic violence situation: There are always those who stay, think it will get better, but it doesnt. There are ALWAYS signs before anything turns deadly, it is just the person refuses to leave. Those who have been in a domestic violence situation should know that YES, the blame can go on the victim as well because of choosing to stay and not leave. Yes, she should have left and protected that baby and her self. I believe she liked the image, the money, and she brought her own mother into the situation. He should have got help and could have left, BUT he was too stupid and mad to do the right thing. It makes it BOTH of their faults for not doing the right thing. And yes, I have been in a VERY abusive marriage and I left. I was stupid enough to get pregnant and bring a baby into this world, but he has not ever seen anything because my ex-husband left 3 weeks after giving birth because one of was were going to die and after what happened that one day, it was not going to be me.
  • #42
    !
    She is right. In most cases If a woman continues to stay with an abusive man/woman then she kinda gets what she deserves. There are exceptions to this rule.
  • #34
    !
    It takes two to fight. My parents abused one another while they were married. In the 70's there was no such thing as domestic violence the police would show at my home and take one or both to the jail house put them in a holding cell until they cooled off then let them go home. I am not saying that it's the victims fault, but they do have some fault they need to own up to. They stay and allow themselves to be abused all the while their children watch this happening those are your true victims
  • #40
    !
    Actually in the 70s there was domestic violence but too many times the police turned a blind eye. Maybe in your house your parents were both abusive to each other, but that is not always the case. Many times abusive men seek out weaker women who will put up with their bullshit. Some victims are gullible enough to believe "he's really changed this time". Others fear for their lives. Still others believe that Jesus will send them to hell for leaving.
    Don't assume that your experiences are the same as everyone else's.
  • #46
    !
    @Cheenoguy. I am not assuming anything I just wrote about my experience as a child. No matter what anyone say's the "victim" has some culpability in the situation. More so now then any other time! There are so many routes a woman can take to leave now a days. There are doctors and nurses that are trained to look for abuse and when they do extend a helping hand only to have it slapped away by the woman. I understand they are often left with little self esteem, but when do say enough is enough and hold them accountable for their actions as well? I'm sorry, but if you have children that are watching this happen you both should be charged with child endangerment and the children removed immediately! I wonder then if it wouldn't wake these woman up. You will never know the damage of watching this happen as a child unless you have seen and experienced it yourself.
  • Comment removed for Engagement Etiquette violation. Replies may also be deleted.
  • #51
    !
    @Cheenoguy. My heart is in the right place with the children that watch this happen on daily and weekly bases. I have a fellow nurse that works in the E.R. she sees the same woman come in and they offer the them help every time most times they refuse! One woman even told her to mind her own damn business! More often then not they have kids in tow with them. Yeah they are the real "victims" not their children? They can make the choice to stay or go the child have no choice at all! Now tell me again whom the real victims are?
  • #70
    !
    @classychazy
    Yeah that bitch had it coming right? She should have gotten her man his beer and dinner ready before he got home. Hell using your logic those kids are pathetic for not calling CPS.
  • R Load more replies

  • #9
    !
    Well I guess "hind sight" really is .."20/20"...But until we can all predict the future as accurately as ms. perino...I really don't think that "blaming the victim" is the right message to be sent by her.
  • #23
    !
    @FollowTheMoney Of course...But there was nothing to suggest that this guy was an "abuser" in the first place...
  • #30
    !
    @FollowTheMoney. Dem controlled Senate had passed Violence Against Women Act Why is the GOP House Not bringing it up for vote, Brilliant move to attract women
  • #63
    !
    @martydotcom Probably because they think we don't need special laws regulating violence against women. Neither do I for that matter.

    Besides, Dems and Reps are one in the same. The parties are interchangeable, nothing but professional politicians pandering to special interest groups in exchange for political capital. To support either power party is an exercise in futility, or just plain stupid.

    Assault is already against the law, so is sexual assault. So you tell me , Why do we need special laws pertaining specifically for domestic violence?
  • #65
    !
    @FollowTheMoney I believe the void that was not covered by existing domestic violence las was OT failed to cover lesbian and transgendered victims
  • R Load more comments...
Post